Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Farewell to the Dog Who Wasn't Supposed to Happen

Parker's entry into our household 14 years ago was really a remarkable thing. It wasn't supposed to happen.

His arrival resulted from the departure of his precursor, Wesley. Wes, as people who know us are well aware, was a handful. He was our maiden voyage of dog ownership, and frankly, his entry into our home wasn't exactly smooth sailing. He was, as we later learned, the result of a none-too-informed breeder who didn't quite have a grasp on producing stellar Labrador Retrievers. He was willful, dominant, and a bit of a wild child, and it took the intervention of an ace obedience instructor to help us help him into being the A+ dog he became.

But numerous times during those early, tumultuous weeks with Wes, Eileen (not a dog person then but a dear dog mom now) would vent: "I hope you're enjoying this dog-ownership thing now, because when Wesley eventually shuffles off his mortal coil, we're done."

Over time, however, she softened, especially as Wes got his act together and became the great dog he was destined to be.

Wes' exit from our lives was sudden, shocking, and brutal. Unbeknownst to us, he had a vicious tumor growing on his liver, a condition we later learned had the ominous name "hemangio carcinoma." By the time I got our clearly distressed Lab to the vet, there was little that could be done. I stayed with him through those final moments, came home to an empty house, and waited for my family to come home from work/school to break the tragic news.

This loss hit us in November 2010. A month later, among my Christmas gifts was a card from Eileen. When I opened it, the card showed an adorable Lab puppy wearing a Santa hat. When I opened it, whatever Yuletide greeting was inside was augmented with a note: "Let's do this again. Love, Eileen."

In other words, she was green-lighting another Lab to join our family.

Fortunately, I knew exactly where I wanted to get him.

At that time, I was part of an online community of Lab owners from across the globe. It was a Listserv-based "board" on which members could post comments, questions, photos, stories, etc. etc. etc. During my time there, as I would share stories about Wes, I got to "know" a breeder from Michigan who had an established reputation for breeding top-notch (cute as hell) Labs.

Once Eileen okayed another dog in the house, I contacted this breeder, asked about schedules, and made arrangements.

On April 09, 2011, the litter came. Our breeder, knowing intimately what I was looking for, picked out a pup for us and designated it as ours.

Except. In the mental blur of a late-night whelping, she mistakenly allotted us a female Lab. In the light (and clarity) of the following morning, she reassigned us our dog, presumably sending the little girl elsewhere.

Because he was a Christmas gift, I wanted a Yuletide-themed AKC Registration name. I came up with: Kelrobin Cleveland Street Resident. "Kelrobin" was our breeder's insignia. The "Cleveland Street Resident" part was a nod to the 1983 film A Christmas Story, which had long been a Weckerly family favorite. His "call" name -- Parker -- dovetailed nicely, as it was also the surname of the family in the movie.

Bringing him home 10 weeks later was a saga that has entered the very lore of the Weckerly family. The plan. Long story short (because I've shared this tale verbally for years), Parker and I were delayed coming home because of weather, a setback that turned an afternoon arrival from Detroit airport back into Philadelphia into a late evening one. By the time we got back into the car in Philadelphia, I was rocketing back home on the Schuylkill Expressway with Parker sitting in the passenger seat, resting his wee head on my left thigh.

We were bonded from that night forward.


Love at first sight.

His life forward was relatively smooth. He potty-trained easily. Got along with everyone. Ate like a champ. Grew like a weed. Given the experience I had with Wesley, I embarked Parker on the same training regimen, taking him to obedience classes to learn to heel, sit, down, etc. Our trainer, Sue, fell in love with him almost at first sight, a rather startling outcome because Labrador Retrievers were never quite her favorite breed, despite having Goldens in her background. Not that she disparaged them; they just weren't her cup of tea (she preferred Dobermans, which she continues to breed and show expertly).

The years passed. He grew, both in stature and in abilities. I got him into Obedience competitions, and he earned titles in Traditional Obedience, Rally, and Trick Dog. The letters after his name looked so official.

But his sweet spot was his work as a Therapy Dog. Once authorized (passing several tests to ensure he'd be okay around medical equipment, etc.), Parker became part of a local team sent to various senior homes for visitations.

The venue he enjoyed the most, however, was a program at our local library. The gist of these visits was to help build comprehension skills in children by having them "read" books to dogs. Studies had been done to indicate that troubled readers benefit from the nonjudgmental atmosphere of reading to a dog. No canine was going to correct pronunciation or inadvertently pressure a fledgling reader into doing better. By merely lying by the side of a child with a book, the amiable atmosphere and positive feedback, dogs made ace tutors.

One terrific reading tutor.


This was an activity Parker loved. He happily lay beside whoever was interested in reading to him and gladly "paid attention" to the narrative unspooling into his velvety ears.

The years tumbled forward. I'm not even sure how. Parker went from a student at obedience class to being a demo dog, helping novice handlers manage exercises like "Down," "Sit-stay, and "Come."

Parker in his element: Retrieving and wet.


And then ... Well... It all started slowing down. I stopped competing in Obedience, finding the long commutes and rigors of showing (there's a lot of waiting around) to be a lot to ask of him. I eventually retired him from his Therapy work. And although I would occasionally bring him to Obedience classes, it was more to visit than to demo.

From there, he seemed to enjoy retirement, content to find a sunny patch in the family room, nestle into it, and nap. But he still enjoyed his walks. In winter, he'd love a good snow, romping through the fluff and digging his nose into it, searching for a distant scent. We would vacation with him at the Jersey Shore, and he gladly walked the beach, chased seagulls (not at top speed, but still...), and pit-patted into the waves.


Undeterred by a few drifts.

But around the house, he'd sleep more. Play less. Walk shorter walks. Struggle to get in and out of the car. He developed some fatty lumps; nothing overly concerning (and definitely not cancerous), but they started skewing his once lean-and-muscular physique into something softer and more misshapen. His yellow muzzle gained a powdered sugar dusting. His bright brown eyes started losing some luster. 

Vet visits became more questions than answers. Slowing down. Showing signs of aging. Tuckering out.

Quiet restfulness...

I can't even really pinpoint a true drop-off, probably from a combination of inattentiveness and outright denial over the clock that was ticking louder and louder. But decline was evident. For one thing, he had developed a deep-chested, rattly cough that often left him gasping. He also started struggling to get up and down our staircase, so I bought him a sheepskin sling to aid him.

The vet visit associated with his 14th birthday (April 2025) gave us some sobering news. That cough that had become so prevalent in his everyday existence was a canine medical condition called Geriatric Onset Laryngeal Paralysis Polyneuropathy (GOLPP), an acronym that sounds as awful as the disease it represents.

Our vet let us know that there is a surgical remedy. But given Parker's age and overall health status, he couldn't recommend it.

Absent that kind of intervention, we brought him home and waited for him to tell us next steps.

Over the course of the following weeks, it became evident to me. To us. To just about anyone who would see him. His quality of life was dropping daily. Outside walks were a matter of minutes (sniff, plod, potty, return). And the remainder of his day -- hours and hours -- were spent asleep, trying to find peace and escape from the respiratory distress that plagued him.

A vet appointment on July 01 confirmed our worst fears. The GOLPP was exacting a vicious toll.

And as a result, it is time to say farewell.

Parker ... 

You were the dog we somehow thought we didn't need.
And yet you were everything necessary to make us whole.
From the moment you rested your head on my leg on that first drive home, I knew.
I knew you were mine, and I was yours.

Thank you for every walk, every wag, every quiet moment together when words weren’t needed.
You helped raise this family. You softened hearts. You healed. You comforted. You provided humor and joy. You taught.

Like every other pet owner who finds him- or herself in this awful position, I wish we had more time. But I’m so grateful for every day we had. And so is the rest of the family.

I hope you know the pure love that defined your life. Then. Now. And forever.

Goodbye, Parker. Go chase seagulls. Go plow through snowy fields. Go nap in a pool of sunshine. Go give the scare of a lifetime to an unsuspecting squirrel. Go give an elderly angel a kiss on the hand. Or find a young soul with a picture book to cozy up with.

We’ll find each other again.


 


Monday, May 19, 2025

It Has Slipped my Mind...


Cards on the table: I'm frightened.

Over the past year or so, I've been slipping in terms of my day-to-day cognition. I tried ignoring it for a while. Tried justifying it Pishh -- Everyone forgets where he parks his car in a large garage! Tried OTC pharmaceuticals like COQ-10.

Not much progress on any of those fronts.

The most vexing part of what I was going through was the spottiness of it all. Yes, Eileen would tell me before leaving for her office at 7:30 a.m. to put dinner in the oven at 5:00. And I'd wave her off: Sure, hon. Got it! And she'd arrive home at 5:15 to an oven full of nothing.

 But I considered that as simply having too much on my plate. In my defense, I'm currently holding down four separate jobs: Two as organist/choir director, one as a content creator for a financial services executive recruiter, and one for a regional lifestyle magazine. In addition to helping with our local dog trainer each Wednesday night.

So I took myself to my local PCP, a nearby Certified Nurse Practitioner who I trust completely. His first-stab thought was ADHD.

ADHD?!?!?! Really?

He explained that ADHD is on a statistical rise with aging Baby Boomers across the nation, driven by influences from any number of influences. We joked about it being blamed on everything from too much Kool-Aid in the 1960s to the effects of Heavy Metal music in the 1980s.

 He recommended an appointment with a neurologist. I got a family member's recommendation for one and made the appointment.

 In the interim--the time between my initial contact and my onsite appointment date--things started getting worse.

One night, after our dog obedience class, I got lost driving home in the car. This is from a destination less than a mile from our home, to/from which I've commuted just about every Wednesday night for more than 20 years.

So, with great hope that things would get better, I went to the appointment.

It wasn't ideal. The doctor didn't seem very interested in my overall story, just a recitation of symptoms. He did some reflex-testing, left the office for a moment, came back with a prescription, made a follow-up appointment and sent me on my way.

When I pressed him -- Is this dementia? Is this something else? -- he wouldn't commit. "I'm calling it age-related impairment." he said.

Umm... Okay. What does that mean?

No real answer.

I expressed my biggest concern: Yes, I was losing ground on day-to-day cognitive operations. But other pieces of my thinking were just fine. For example, I can continue to play the organ without issue. I can follow Mass, accompanying singing exactly when needed, according to the rubrics of Mass.

How does a guy in mental decline do that?

Also, I continue to tackle the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle (the toughest of the week), most often completing at least 75 percent of it and occasionally nailing the whole thing.

How was I losing navigation in the car while still being able to come up with name of the first Secretary of the Treasury (Alexander Hamilton for the win)?

I got a shrug. "It's complicated. Not all cognition is the same..."

Umm... Okay...

For the next appointment, I brought in the big guns: I had Eileen come with me.

The procedure with the doctor was pretty much a carbon copy of Visit #1: Quick question on my overall status. Reflex check. Doctor exit. Return with a scrip (he upped the original dosage), G'bye. 

Eileen kicked into eagle-eye mode almost immediately, peppering him with questions. He gave her the same brush off -- "Well... It's age-related impairment. There's no much more I can do. What cognition he's lost, he's lost. But the med should help him from declining any further."

And voop, gone.

Neither one of us was satisfied with the care we were getting, so we mutually agreed to find another neurologist.

After combing through websites and periodicals and parsing patient reviews with a microscope, we found another neurologist. She had about every advantage we could want. But her expertise and bedside manner meant that an appointment would be tough to get.

Nonetheless, we waited.

And she turned out to be well worth the wait.

Our initial appointment was about two hours in length, starting with interviews of the both of us. Separately.

We were then united, and some future steps were outlined.

First piece of advice was to ditch the meds Doc #1 had prescribed. "Wholly inappropriate," our new neurologist (newrologist?) said.

Second step is extensive testing. I need bloodwork, a PET scan (radioactive material shows how my brain is functioning).

Act three is an extensive eval, a three-hour "test" of sorts that is supposed to illustrate to her what's working and what's not.

That latter exercise has me rattled; I underwent something similar about 10 years ago (again related to cognition), and it was a horror show.

"I'm going to mention three presidents -- Hoover, Taft, and Carter -- and then we're going to talk about the Theory of Evolution for half an hour. And then I need you to repeat those Presidents..."

And so on. And so on...

Obviously, I did well enough in that years-ago testing to require no further medical intervention. The sad thing is, I cannot remember why I went in the first place. Probably at the urging of my family (as now), but sadly, I can't gather the specifics.

The appoints for my regimen with this new neurologist will unfold over the next few weeks, with the three-hour exam being the last.

Not looking forward to it.

I only hope that when I go, I can actually remember what I'm there for...