Swing and a Miss!

Philly baseball season 2019 opened last week with Fightins' against the Atlanta Braves.

And surprisingly, there was a big finish -- the grand slam that sealed a win. Would that all (most, some, any) games generated this kind of big finish.

In all honesty, I've never really gotten excited about baseball.

First off, grand slams aside, the game to me is deadly dull to watch: It is long stretches of nothing followed by the occasional something.

Zzzzzz. 'Ray! Zzzzzz...

Now I know that's a broad -- and somewhat harsh -- judgment. Devotees of the subtleties of the game will tell me that I'm not watching closely enough. That there are areas of finesse throughout every pitch, both offensively and defensively. And that once cued into these finer points, the game becomes fascinating.

Uh-huh. There are also a hundred miracles involved with the blossoming of a dandelion in the lawn. That doesn't mean I'd make an afternoon out of watching one.

No, as I've stated before, I'm much more of a football guy. Sixteen games from September to January; three playoff games and boom... a Super Bowl.

Done and done.

So baseball to me has two strikes against it: The games themselves are too long and boring. And the season itself -- lasting from Easter to Hallow-frigging-ween -- is just too much.

Maybe my disinterest stems from being so lousy at the game as a kid.

Each spring, Dad would haul out the gloves, and we -- my brothers and I -- would gently massage the winter out of them with splurts of Neatsfoot oil. We'd then spend some twilight spring evenings tossing the ball back and forth.

I enjoyed these catches. They were more about spending time with my dad and brothers than honing any skills.

And it wasn't like I was totally inept at hitting and fielding. In the neighborhood, we played a form of baseball using a mini-bat and a tennis ball, and these epic games would stretch on throughout summer evenings until darkness made it too difficult to see anything.

But somehow it all fell apart -- the coordination, the camaraderie, the hustle, the fun -- in a more formal setting.

I did play little league. Lamely.

"Take Me Out to the Ball Game" indeed... As long as it's a football game.

1972 shot of me on the left, in the blue cap/uniform